Pregnancy can be an incredible strain. On top of everything else you are going through, now someone you are close to is putting pressure on you to have an abortion. This adds to the pressure you already feel, and it may seem like someone else is making the decision for you.
This is a confusing and difficult place to be. It is common, and many women share this experience, though they rarely talk about it.
How to Recognize Coercion
Reproductive coercion is not always through yelling or threats; it can also happen quietly. This might look like a partner who brings up abortion every time you try to talk about anything else. It could be a boyfriend who tells you he will leave you if you do not “take care of it.” Sometimes it is someone making an appointment for you without asking, or saying that adoption and parenting are not options.
If you recognize these scenarios in your own life, you are not overreacting. Your partner is placing unnecessary pressure on you. They are making an already difficult situation an impossible one.
Your Decision to Make Alone
I want to clarify that the decision whether to have an abortion belongs to you, and no one else. The decision is yours, not your partner’s, not your parents’, and not even a friend’s who loves you but doesn’t fully understand. The laws in Wisconsin state that any decision regarding an abortion must be yours alone and made freely without coercion. This isn’t just a matter of legality; it is about your autonomy and well-being.
The pressure others place on you can negatively impact your self-esteem. You might question if others are looking out for you, or whether choosing parenting or adoption is selfish. But how you feel about your pregnancy and what your instincts tell you matter. You can investigate your options without having someone looking over your shoulder.
What to Do Next
If you are feeling pressured into an abortion, here are a few immediate actions that could ease that pressure:
- Create space for yourself. You don’t have to make your decision today. You have the right to step away from any conversations regarding decision-making for as much time as you need, whether that is a few hours or more.
- Speak with someone who is neutral. Speaking with a friend or someone in your family who doesn’t have an agenda will help give you clarity about what you are thinking. If you do not have someone you are able to talk with, contact a trained advocate to take on that role.
- Know the facts. You are often pressured by fear and misinformation when making a decision. Learning accurate information about parenting, adoption, and abortion can help you think clearly and make a decision.
Get Help with the Facts
We can provide you with direct assistance related to the last item listed above.
Free, Confidential Assistance
Lilies of Hope PRC is where you can explore pregnancy options counseling for parenting, adoption, and abortion. You will feel safe here while talking about how you really feel about your pregnancy. No one here will pressure you into one of the three choices. We provide no cost, no pressure, and no judgment.
Lilies of Hope can also provide you with a free pregnancy test and limited obstetric ultrasound services to confirm the pregnancy.
When you speak with Lilies of Hope staff, all conversations are confidential. You may come to the Lilies of Hope office alone or bring someone you trust to support you. If you would like to speak with someone before or after the Lilies of Hope office hours, you can call the 24/7 after-hours hotline at 800-712-4357.
You’re Not Alone!
You are feeling a lot of pressure to terminate your pregnancy, and you are unsure whether this is really what you want to do. It is hard. This does not have to be resolved by someone pushing you one way or the other. You can take a step back, find out the truth about your pregnancy, and then determine what is right for your life.
If you would like to discuss what you’re going through, please call (262) 274-6304 to speak with one of our advocates or to set up an appointment. Our office address is 1416 Wisconsin Ave, Grafton, WI 53024. We will be happy to meet with you, walk through this time together, and help you figure out what happens next. You do not need an appointment to visit our office during regular business hours.